Forty Seconds

My book club is reading about near-death experiences right now and it reminded me I never wrote mine down properly. I coded on the table for forty seconds after a reaction to anesthesia two years ago in a Boise hospital. What I remember isn't darkness. It's the sense of being fully known, completely, by something vast and warm that had no edges, without any of the parts of myself I try to hide. I woke up different. I don't need anyone to believe me. I just needed to say it once outside my own head.